Tuesday, May 25, 2010

My Personal Stalker

There was this guy that always followed me around wherever I went.

I mean WHEREVER!

The guy was an extreme stalker!
He followed me to work.
He followed me at home.
He followed me on vacation.
I couldn't get away from him.

Sometimes he would tell me how good I am
What a great preacher I am
What a great pastor I am
What a great dad I am
And stuff like that.

He's also the guy who tells me
What a terrible guitar player I am
And how ugly I am
And so on.

And, when I made a mistake
No matter how large or small
He would take a whack at me
Or beat me up real good.

The thing is
That even though he has followed me for years
I didn't know his name.
Until last week.

A couple of weeks ago I made a mistake
And he beat me up
Real good
For days.

Then I learned two things
His name,
And that he doesn't exist.

His name is "perfect jeff."
And "perfect jeff" doesn't exist,
Really.
He only existed in my psyche.
And though I always knew
I am not perfect
"perfect jeff" would tell me otherwise
And smack me when I wasn't.

People would tell me to let go of the mistake
And the event in which the mistake occurred
And they were right.

But, what I also needed to do
Was to let go of the guy who kept beating me up over it.

So, I did.

And my life is different.
And I have a new-found freedom
And I am healing
Thanks to the liberating grace
Of God
And of the church.

So, to all of the recovering perfectionists out there
And to those perfectionists who long to recover
It's time to let go of your personal
Perfectionist
Stalker
And be liberated into the grace of God
Who loves us
With and despite
Our many
Many
Faults and flaws.

Who needs to be perfect anyway?
I am pretty sure it is over-rated.

1 comment:

Megs said...

Amen and amen. :)